“Have you had times where the joy of living gets lost in the clutter of busyness? Do you forget what it means to BE human instead of just DO human things? … I often forget that one of the things God has put on my To Be list is to be HAPPY!”
The soothing sound of ocean waves. The distinct call of a seagull. The rustling of the breeze through palm trees. These blissful sounds permeate my subconscious and lull me into wakefulness. Then reality strikes as I realize the air I’m feeling is not the sea breeze but the overhead fan. The bird I hear is the finch twittering away outside my bedroom window.
The water is the faucet running as my husband gets ready for work. With this jarring comes the reminder of the many to-dos I need to check off my list today. With a groan and a feeling of dread, I coax myself out of bed to face the day.
Do you relate? Have you had times where the joy of living gets lost in the clutter of busyness? Do you forget what it means to BE human instead of just DO human things?
“Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists.” What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be? by Elder Lynn G. Robbins
I often forget that one of the things God has put on my To Be list is to be HAPPY! “Men [and women] are, that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25)
I was recently reminded that happiness isn’t an automatic lifetime guarantee. In the Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Christ, a man named Ammon is described this way.
“Now the joy of Ammon was so great even that he was full; yea, he was swallowed up in the joy of his God, even to the exhausting of his strength; and he fell again to the earth. Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness.” (Alma 27:17-18)
This unique phrase shook me and my soul remembered that happiness is something we have to want and actively pursue daily.
At one point in my life I was desperately struggling to feel happy. Each morning I would wake up and just want to pull the covers over my head and escape through sleep. I was listless, in spite of being surrounded by people who loved me. At the time I was attending religious education classes and would unconsciously I listened to the teacher greeting the students as they arrived. Many of the students would answer the teacher’s inquiry of how they were with a resounding “I’m fantastic! How are you?” In my gloomy state I figured everyone was exaggerating, or there was something in the water they were drinking that caused them to be so cheerful. There was NO way a normal person felt that way. But in the weeks that followed and as I got to know a few of those students better, I realized that they did have challenging lives but chose to look for the good in them.
Around this same time I read Steven Covey’s “7 Habits for Highly Effective People” and he talks about being “proactive” in pursuing goals and character strengths. I decided it was time for me to try to be happy. I began responding, “I’m fantastic! How are you?” and over time I actually became fantastic. It was hard work at first, but seeking happiness each day eventually helped me experience it again. (Note: For those who have clinical depression or other similar challenges, professional help may be needed.) Please know I am not saying, “Fake it till you make it” is the solution to finding happiness. I am saying that there are often choices in our control that will allow us to seek and find happiness, if we choose to look for it.
So what are some ways we can seek happiness? Here are a few things that have helped me.
1.Start your day with Him
“My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives. When the focus of our lives is on God’s plan of salvation…and Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening—or not happening—in our lives. Joy comes from and because of Him. He is the source of all joy.
How, then, can we claim that joy? We can start by “looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith”15 “in every thought.”16 We can give thanks for Him in our prayers and by keeping covenants we’ve made with Him and our Heavenly Father. As our Savior becomes more and more real to us and as we plead for His joy to be given to us, our joy will increase.” (Joy and Spiritual Survival by President Russell M. Nelson)
I find that when I start my day with sincere prayer, including expressions of gratitude for my blessings and seeking guidance on what He would have me do, I’m filled with greater peace and happiness. It helps me realize I’m not facing the world alone and that makes me happy.
2. Create!
“To what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.4 Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
If you…feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.” (Happiness, Your Heritage by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
I LOVE to cook! In the kitchen there’s a world of possibilities for me to discover. I am also able to take a step away from the busyness of life and do something that fills my soul. Seeing and experiencing that final product builds my confidence and happiness.
3. Reach out to connect with and lift others
As we lift others, we rise a little higher ourselves. President Spencer W. Kimball taught,
“‘The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls.’9 … As we lose ourselves in the service of others, we discover our own lives and our own happiness.” (Happiness, Your Heritage by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
Some of my dearest friends are those whom I was asked to visit or work with as part of a church assignment. I have had opportunities to help them through various challenges. Each time I come away with a sense that I am not alone in my trials and a reminder that if these women can bear their burdens then I can too. These friends have also reached out to strengthen and support me in times when I desperately needed someone to listen to and comfort me. My heart is filled with love and joy that God put these amazing people in my life.
4. Treasure simple beauties
“If the more mature have not dulled their physical or spiritual sensitivities by excess or disuse, they can also experience joy in what is simple and basic—in flowers and other growing things, in a sunrise or sunset or other beauties of nature, in wholesome companionship.” (Joy and Mercy by Elder Dallin. H. Oaks)
My husband and I laugh about the fact that he’s the planner in our marriage and I am the one who “goes with the flow/lives in the moment.” I cherish being able to sit for hours talking with my family or going for long, leisurely walks. These simple joys remind me that life is so very good! And the laugh of a child, the smell of blossoms, the kiss of the breeze, the warmth of the sun, and the touch of a loved one reminds me that there is a Great Creator who wants me to be happy.
These are just a few ideas; there are countless other ways that can fill your life with meaning and joy. I often forget that happiness is not something that is automatically granted to us, but something we have to choose. My husband is constantly reminding me to look for the positive and focus on the good I am doing, not just on what I am lacking.
Experiment: If you’re like me and are having trouble seeing the good in life or in yourself, I invite you to take a moment to pray or meditate on which of the above suggestions (or one of your own) would help you seek more happiness. Then set a goal to actively focus on that each day this week. At the end of the week, take a few moments to asses the level of joy you felt. Jesus Christ promised, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matthew 7:7). You will find more joy as you become a “humble seeker of happiness.”
Share your experience using the hashtag #myvoiceofgladness.
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