Woman of Service: By Small and Simple Things

“My prayer in this life, if I could have anything, would be to be Christlike.  When I look at His life, and the things He did, and the people He served, I realize it wasn’t always an easy thing to love some people — and yet He did.”

Julene has been married to her husband Richard for 45 years.  They are the parents of seven children and grandparents of twenty-four.  Julene has found joy in service throughout her life and is constantly sharing that joy by serving her family, friends, church, and community.

 

Do you remember a specific time or experience from your childhood that taught you about or helped you developed service?

My mother was such a great example.  She was a nurse, and I think you have to be a certain personality to be a nurse — you have to be giving and willing to serve. My mother was always serving other people, always trying to help other people.

I remember when I was really young, and we went to my grandmother and grandfather’s for the weekend.  My siblings had already gone up to bed and my mom and dad, grandmother and grandfather, and an aunt and uncle were sitting in the living room area talking.  I went down and kissed them goodnight and then left to go up the stairs.  I remember hearing them say “She is such a sweet girl.”  Then my mom and dad said “She is, and she’s very kind to everyone.” It was like being rewarded, knowing that they would have said it no matter what because they thought I couldn’t hear them.

Another thing is that I loved little kids, I always have.  My mother was at home until my youngest brother was old enough to go to school, and then she went back to work nursing.  I would take care of him after school until she got home.  As I got older, I wanted to get a job. My dad said to me, “I really don’t want you to work; I need you to be here for when the kids come home.  I’ll pay you if you won’t get a job.”  I didn’t want him to pay me so he didn’t, but I didn’t get a job so that I could stay home and help with my siblings.

Why is service an important part of your life?

It just makes me feel good when I can serve others.  I don’t have a big issue with depression, but there have been a couple of times in my life when I’ve felt down; I’ve realized if I go and serve I come right out of that.  I do it because I think I’m helping other people, but I’m really the one that benefits from it.  

What have you learned about the Savior from having this characteristic in your life, or how have you come closer to Him?

He is the epitome of the Server.  It didn’t matter to Him who He was serving; it didn’t matter what their class distinction, the color of their skin, anything like that.  It didn’t matter to Him what or why He was serving them — He was just serving them.  The blessing of service is really that you gain and grow so much from serving others more than they ever get from the service you do.

How do you practice service when opposition arises?

When I look at my life and think I’m going through a hard time, I always think of other people that have much worse struggles than I do.  When I’m going through something that’s hard, if I look at all my blessings, they far outweigh anything that I’m going through.  I feel like I would be so ungrateful if I didn’t reach out to others.  Many of the hard things I have gone through have given me a better understanding of what others have gone through, because I have been there. It’s helpful to just even listen to them.  I don’t know that I have served them like they need to be served, but sometimes just listening is a service that we don’t understand as a service.  I think sometimes people just need to have somebody listen to how they are feeling and say, “I understand.”  

Can you think of a specific time when it was hard to serve?

I can think of one time it was just chaotic.  The day was packed with so many things — soccer games and getting kids to sports or church activities.  [My husband] had a bishopric meeting that night (where he met as a presidency with counselors and other church leaders to discuss the needs of their congregation) and it was one of his counselor’s birthday.  I had decided that I would make cinnamon rolls and take them to the bishopric meeting. It was so chaotic that I thought, “I don’t even know how I’m going to get them to the meeting before it was over and in between everything else.” After I took them over I remember looking back and thinking “That was just crazy, why did you do that? Why did you add that to your whole day?”  I just felt like it would be a nice thing for that bishopric member whose birthday it was, but also to unite the bishopric so they were all involved with his birthday.  

Maybe the reason I think of that is because I look at my kids now and they are that same way — busy doing so many good things.  Sometimes it’s hard because you’re doing things for your children and for your family, and you don’t recognize that what you are doing for them is serving.  You’re feeling like “this is my job as a mother; I have to do this”; and yet, sometime down the road those benefits and associations you’re making with your children are love connections, really.  You don’t think they’re grasping anything that you’re doing for them, but eventually I think they do recognize what you’ve done for them.  Just recently my son said, “I don’t remember a lot about [my grandmother] but I do know what my mother is.  And because of what she is, I know what my grandmother must have been.” Sometimes your paydays don’t come often enough, or when you really need them, maybe; but they do come.  It’s looking down the road and saying, “They DID know that I cared for them.”  

How does practicing service bring you joy?

My prayer in this life, if I could have anything, would be to be Christlike.  When I look at His life, and the things He did, and the people He served, I realize it wasn’t always an easy thing to love some people — and yet He did.  If I can be like Him by reaching out to others, it does bring me joy.  It makes me happy to be able to feel like I can lighten somebody’s load a little bit or make their life a little bit easier.  And sometimes it’s not big things; in fact, most of the time it isn’t a big thing.  I remember when I was Relief Society president, I had a lady in our ward that said to me, “Well I just don’t feel like I need to go to Relief Society because I don’t need any of the knick knacks or anything.”  I said to her, “That’s probably true, but there might be somebody at Relief Society that needs you to be there for them.”  It could be little things like sitting by them or talking to them.  

Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in ourselves and think, “Well, I don’t need this.”  Instead of always thinking about yourself, go with the attitude of “How can I help somebody else?, How can I make their life easier?, How can I step in and help them when they seem so burdened?”  Those are little things, and I think that’s what the Savior would do.  Try and live your life closer to what the Savior would do and how He would be — and I am so far from even being close to what He would do or what He would be — but if you think along those lines and not necessarily “How can I benefit from this?” or “I don’t really want to go because I’m not interested in what they’re doing,” that is being more Christlike.

It brings me joy when I serve others.  I’ve come to find that the one who is providing the service is much more blessed than the one who is receiving it.  

Interviewed by: Lindsay McConkie