The Things You are Not

You are not your job or your promotion. You are not your accomplishments or successes. You are not a title a paycheck. You are not the number of likes or re-posts. You are not your sins or weaknesses. You are a daughter of God.

Not too long ago, I found myself unemployed. At first, it was a welcome and exciting change. I had endless time for the many things I had longed to do but hadn’t felt like I could make time for—traveling, reading the books that have been recommended to me over the past five years, catching up with friends, developing new hobbies and reviving some old ones, and organizing my closet, to name just a few. After a while, I actively began searching for the perfect new job. Hour after hour and day after day, I searched jobsites, filled out applications, researched companies, revised my resume, and talked with individuals. The investment felt enormous, the return felt non-existent (unless you count the collection of emails with sentiments such as: “We appreciate your application, however, we’ve decided to pursue other candidates at this time.”).

I began to doubt my skills, my educational experience, my previous employment, my resume, even my personality. And pretty soon, I began to feel discouraged, tired, and hopeless. My confidence felt weak. After all, do you know how many conversations are centered around work? (Way too many in my opinion!) It felt like every conversation turned into an interrogation about where I worked or why I wasn’t working or unsolicited advice about what I needed to do differently. I began avoiding conversations because each one seemed another blow, another disappointment to myself.

On one of those days when I was feeling particularly anxious and discouraged, I told my friend that I was probably going to take a job that wasn’t anything close to what I wanted or hoped for (and one that seemed “below” what I would have previously accepted for myself). His response was the shocking wake-up call I needed. He replied:

“It’s fine. You aren’t a job or a position or a paycheck. Your value is intrinsic! You are a daughter of God… I don’t promise that this will pass soon, but you can enjoy this struggling time now or enjoy later when it is over. I suggest that you enjoy it now.”

After months of this struggle, these few words seemed more clear than anything had. I realized I had often defined myself by the things I do, not who I am. I had felt confident when I had an impressive job, a successful relationship, or had just taken an exciting adventure that I could easily converse about.

I was left with three questions to ponder and that I now frequently ask myself:

1. Who am I?
2. Where do I get my confidence?
3. Will I choose to enjoy life now?

Here’s what some inspiring counsel modern disciples of Christ share about these questions:

“God is your Father. He loves you. He and your mother in heaven value you beyond any measure. … You are unique. One of a kind, made of the eternal intelligence which gives you claim upon eternal life. Let there be no question in your mind about your value as an individual. The whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for each of you to reach your fullest potential, which is eternal progression and the possibility of godhood.” President Spencer W. Kimball

“How many of us struggle, from time to time, with negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves? I do. It’s an easy trap. Satan is the father of all lies, especially when it comes to misrepresentations about our own divine nature and purpose. Thinking small about ourselves does not serve us well. Instead it holds us back. As we’ve often been taught, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” We can stop comparing our worst to someone else’s best. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” In contrast, the Lord assures us that when we have virtuous thoughts, He will bless us with confidence, even the confidence to know who we really are. There’s never been a more crucial time to heed His words. “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly,” He said. “Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and … the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion.” Joy D. Jones 

“This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.” President Thomas S. Monson 

To women all over the world–You are not your job or your promotion. You are not your accomplishments or successes. You are not a title a paycheck. You are not the number of likes or re-posts. You are not your sins or weaknesses.

You are a daughter of God. You are loved by Him. He is the true giver of lasting confidence. And with it, you can have joy now!

Experiment: Ponder and write down the answers to one or more of the following questions. Determine what small changes you will make today to let Christ give you more power and confidence: Where do you get your confidence? How would your life be different if you had more confidence? What would you do if you you could do anything? How does knowing that you are a daughter of God change your feelings about yourself? Share your thoughts using the hashtag #myvoiceofgladness