“Sometimes I have felt so weak that in my darkest hours the best I could do was simply cry and direct my tears towards Heaven…That was me choosing faith. Even just a micrometer towards Christ. It doesn’t matter how much. Just that you try. And keep trying. It doesn’t matter how long the pain goes on. We keep choosing faith. We keep trying. The only other option is despair and misery–who wants that? No thanks.”
Sarah was born and raised in Texas, apart from a much loved, three-year-long hiatus in Singapore during her childhood. One life highlight was volunteering as a missionary for 18-months in Ecuador, where she taught others about Jesus Christ and served in many other ways. She feels happy when she is creating and getting to know people from other countries. She laughs at her own jokes, prefers eating to cooking, and loves white orchids. She currently lives in Germany and loves it. She believes in miracles.
What have you learned about the purpose of adversity & uncertainty in God’s plan?
First and foremost, it is essential that I share that I know God does not enjoy my suffering (or our suffering)–and neither is He apathetic towards us. It’s truly hard for Him to watch me struggle and be in pain. I feel great strength as I strive to focus on God’s true character. There are many purposes to adversity, but I’d like to share two I’ve learned personally. First, we cannot truly be saved (or return to live with God) if we do not become as little children. We learn this in the Gospel of Matthew where Jesus Christ teaches, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) Adversity helps me feel and remember how dependent I am on God (as an infant is to its parents)–for everything. At times I think I am humble, and through adversity I realize–and I am always surprised when I realize–how little I actually control, how much God actually provides for me, and how much I desperately need His help and Grace. Adversity helps me become like a little child, “submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)
Second, I have learned that I truly cannot experience joy without its opposite–sorrow or pain. “And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet. ” (Doctrine and Covenants 29:39) God wants us to experience joy. And, it is literally impossible for joy to exist without suffering. For example, without darkness there is no light. Darkness and light can only exist together. It’s the same with joy and suffering. I have felt greater joy as I have experienced greater suffering. My capacity to know joy increases as my capacity for suffering is increased through adversity. God wants me and each of us to inherit eternal life–that’s a lot of joy– which means we need adversity to teach us about suffering. Mostly because, I believe, true joy comes from truly loving others, which includes suffering with them (compassion).
What helps you maintain faith in Jesus Christ in adversity & uncertainty?
I’ve learned that a big part of maintaining faith in Jesus Christ during adversity is having faith storage. I build faith storage by reading my scriptures daily, repenting daily, praying daily, serving others, or by doing anything that invites the companionship of the Holy Ghost and helps me increase faith in Jesus Christ. Then, when adversity comes, I am well prepared. However, greater preparation does not necessarily mean less adversity. From what I’ve experienced it often means more adversity, which means we are prepared to be purified more. This leads to greater joy.
Now, regardless of whether or not we have faith storage (when the adversity comes the past is irrelevant and poor preparation is simply a sunk cost), it is essential that we choose faith. Faith is a choice. It is quite simple. I choose faith in Jesus Christ every day when I’m experiencing adversity. I choose faith regardless of my feelings. Sometimes it is really difficult. Sometimes I have felt so weak that in my darkest hours the best I could do was simply cry and direct my tears towards Heaven–I was not able to even pray for a few days. Just cry. That was me choosing faith. Even just a micrometer towards Christ. It doesn’t matter how much. Just that you try. And keep trying. It doesn’t matter how long the pain goes on. We keep choosing faith. We keep trying. The only other option is despair and misery–who wants that? No thanks. All pain will eventually end. It always does. I like this scripture, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” (Psalms 30:5)
What/who has mentored you to develop this kind of faith?
President Spencer W. Kimball helped me when I read his book Faith Precedes the Miracle. Also many others. My mother, ex step-mother, and father have been great examples to me of exercising faith in Christ during adversity. My mom, for example, has experienced incredible trials–mental illness, divorces, etc. I saw a remarkable change in her as she simply chose to read the scriptures more every day–she became more joyful than before while the trials remained the same. How does that work? That is what happens when we choose faith in Christ during adversity–we are changed.
What have you learned about Christ that helps you feel personally connected with Him?
I have learned that Christ, although perfect, has needs and preferences. He needs friends and relationships. He needs support. Like each of us. He feels hurt when we don’t trust Him. He feels sad when we are not confident in His love for us. Yes, He is a perfect being. But, He is like us in many ways. He deeply wants to be close to me and each of us. But He will not force a relationship we do not want. We decide how close and real we are with Him. This helps me feel personally connected with Him. I also feel personally connected with Him as I serve others as He would.
How do you find daily joy?
I find daily joy by (1) choosing to become a grateful person, (2) choosing to acknowledge and share all of my feelings with Heavenly Father through prayer, and (3) choosing to be joyful (laughing more, having fun, helping others do the same, etc).
What would you hope to share with women around the world about joy?
There is so much more joy for each of us to experience right now, and we can attain it as we choose Christ.
Interviewed by: Sarah King
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