Woman of Optimism: Find One Good Thing

In whatever situation you are in, try to find one good thing about it regardless of how bad it is. Always try to find one good thing about it and then focus on that one good thing.  

Cindy is an Arizona native, an amazing wife, and a mother to six children. She is an avid reader, grammar stickler, animal lover, Scouting queen, music connoisseur, and family historian. Cindy loves people and learning about them and their lives. She has dealt with depression for the last 20 years, yet most would not know it because of her incredible optimism.

 

How would you describe optimism?

I would define optimism as trying to find the best in everything. It is trying to have the point of view that things will go well. Optimism is trusting people at the outset, until they give you a reason not to. It is always expecting a good outcome.

How does practicing optimism bring you joy? 

When I am always expecting good things to happen and see the good things in anything that does happen, there is always joy in that. I always tell my kids when they leave the house, “Have a good time”, because it is a choice whether or not you will have a good time. If you choose to enjoy what you find, you will be a lot happier.

What has helped you develop optimism?

Two words – my father. My father is the eternal optimist and he also happens to be a people person, a people lover. He goes early to church every week to greet people –  it is not his assignment, it is not his calling – he just loves talking to people. My dad was always the eternal optimist, and many times it was to a fault because he would over optimize. But I would watch him and he was always happy, regardless. I thought, “I want to be happy”, so I modeled myself after him.

How do you practice optimism when opposition arises?

That is hard. If my body is healthy, it is not as hard when hard things happen. When my brain is working, I can see the good things in life and go with the flow. But when my body is not healthy, so I am not balanced emotionally, then it is hard to see the good things. When I am in dark places, it is hard to be optimistic but being around people helps me. When I am having trouble coming out of darkness by myself, my husband helps me. If I can get out and be around people, I am fine. People are healing for me.

Who has mentored you in your quest to develop optimism? 

I had a female church leader whom I really admired. She was very talented musically, and I would sit by her and mimic how she harmonized so I could do it myself. She was single for quite a while, and yet I could see how comfortable she was with herself and who she was. She had these very wonderful talents and good, strong priorities. She was always at peace, peaceful about who she was and where she was in life and that influenced my optimistic attitude.

What role has Jesus Christ played in your life? 

He has really helped me when I have been in really bad places in life. He always helps me. I always had this running conversation with Him as I rode my bike to school. I had already said my morning prayers but would still be talking to Him during the ride. He always felt very comfortable to me. When I was growing up I had this wrong impression that the less I sinned, the less He had to suffer for me in the Garden. I was well into adulthood before I learned otherwise. So, I was always thinking I was helping Him by not sinning, because then He did not have to suffer as much. Then later, when I understood the Atonement much better, I was very grateful for everything He did for me. At one point, when my husband and I faced an extremely hard marital trial, the Atonement is what got us through that really hard time. Christ has helped me because He has always been there. It has been a very comfortable relationship because He has always felt near.

What are the most important lessons you have learned in life? 

Just because you have done things “right”—you have done the things you are supposed to do in the order you are supposed to do them—does not mean that everything is going to be fine. I have had to come to understand that when bad things happen to people, it does not mean God is punishing them. Just because you are good, does not mean that nothing bad will ever happen. I do not know why it took me so long to learn that. I look at my grandma. She lost three children either in infancy or in childhood. She lost her parents in a train accident when she was 17. She experienced many hard things and she was the best person. So, that is one thing I have learned. As a result, I try not to base my feelings about myself by whether or not things are going right.

I have also learned that the Atonement is not just for our mistakes, but for other people’s mistakes that harm us, our sicknesses, when we feel absolutely lousy, and when we are beating ourselves up. It is for anything that happens to us that puts us in a bad place, whether it is external, internal, or in connection with someone else. The Atonement is for all of that.

How would you like to be remembered? 

I would like to be remembered as Mama Smith. My daughter’s friends would call me that as they got to know me. I want to be known as someone who was there for people, loved people, loved God, and did whatever God asked.

What lessons have you learned from your relationships?

I have learned tolerance from friends, especially when they have been going through hard things. That is part of what helped me understand that bad things happen to good people. I have had some really good friends that are really good people that have had really bad things happen to them.

I have learned that when people want to talk, that listening, more than talking, is really, really good. Not just for them but for me too because I learn so much more just by listening. I have learned a lot about life just by listening to people. I do not really understand who a person truly is until I get to know who they are deep inside and that is why I decided to start listening more and talking less. If someone pauses for a moment while talking and I take it as an opportunity to jump in and give my two cents, I have found that there is more they would have said if I had just been quiet during that pause. Just because they were taking a breath does not mean they were done talking. It has helped me to listen better and because of that I have learned more about people and how to be less judgmental of people.

I have learned that people are very important. God did not send us down here as individuals to live by ourselves. He sent us down here in families for a very major reason – so we have other people to help us. People are important to our mental health.

If a friend asked you, “How can I experience more joy?”, what would you say? 

In whatever situation you are in, try to find one good thing about it regardless of how bad it is. Always try to find one good thing about it and then focus on that one good thing.

Interviewed by: Kali Smith