A Car Accident and the Gift of Grace

Am I so fixated on wanting to make up for my wrong doings that I fail to be properly grateful? Am I wasting so much time being upset with myself that I fail to accept the grace of God?

It was an ordinary Saturday in early February, and I was out running an errand. The parking lot was covered in late winter’s typical grayish slush and was very crowded. As I started my car I noticed another car with its turn signal on, ready to take my spot. In the busy parking lot, with very little room to maneuver cars, my attention was fixed on the waiting car and I failed to look behind me properly. As I pulled out of the space and completed the turn, I heard a small scraping sound. It took a few seconds for me to realize that I had nicked the bumper of the car parked behind me.

With a pit in my stomach, I stepped out of the car to inspect the damage. It was just a paint exchange–some of it would probably wipe off… But I knew I had to leave a note for the owner so, with a heavy heart I sat down in the front seat to find some paper and a pen.

As I gathered my things, I noticed a man start walking across the parking lot toward the car I had bumped. With my heart racing, I hastily got out of the car and, as he walked up to the driver’s door asked, “Is this your car? I am so sorry, but I think I may have nicked your bumper when I was pulling out…”

He surveyed the damage for a few moments while I waited nervously beside him. “I was just getting ready to leave you a note with my information,” I offered lamely. After inspecting the car thoroughly, he turned, looked at me, squeezed my arm, and said, “It happens.”

We conversed for a few minutes and I assured him that I could take care of it, but he insisted that it was okay. As we shook hands and parted ways he asked for my name and said, “Just do something nice for someone today. Forgive someone you don’t want to, okay?”

I thanked him profusely, but as I drove away, frustration mingled with my relief. I was really upset with myself for the mistake I had made, and I still felt guilty about the man’s car. The further I drove, the more upset I became. At some point I thought, “It’s so much easier to give mercy than to be the recipient!” And instantly, the fact came into my mind that I am eternally indebted to One who has given a great deal more mercy to me than the kind man in the parking lot.

I’ve often wondered why I couldn’t suffer for my own sins–why do we need a Savior?

Is there some eternal law dictating the need for a scapegoat–a perfect, sinless offering–before salvation can be obtained? Am I incapable of paying the full price? Or is the price of sin so great that I would have to experience eternal torment to make up for the wrongdoings of day-to-day life? As I pondered my experience in the parking lot, I also found myself wondering, “Am I so fixated on wanting to make up for my wrong doings that I fail to be properly grateful? Am I wasting so much time being upset with myself that I fail to accept the grace of God?”

As I considered these and other questions, my heart gradually softened. I knew I had to humble myself, forgive myself, accept the man’s kind offering, and then focus on gratitude toward him instead of frustration with myself. And I likewise knew that I needed to change my attitude toward my Savior’s atoning sacrifice. I had been letting guilt and frustration take the forefront in my repentance process; it was time to redirect my focus to be on gratitude toward Jesus Christ.

It is comforting to me that the Book of Mormon prophet Nephi struggled with a similar mindset. We read of his sorrows in 2 Nephi 4:17-19 when he states, “Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins.”

And then, in the depth of his despair, there comes a turning point. He continues, “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep…O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?” (2 Nephi 4:19-20, 26, emphasis added).

It may not be possible for us to fully understand the Savior’s Atonement in this life. However, full understanding is not necessary to acknowledge, in humility, our complete dependence on Him and then respond with everlasting gratitude for His goodness. And the amazing thing is that as our gratitude increases, our obedience will likewise increase far more effectively than if we are wallowing in self-condemnation. As Dieter F. Uchtdorf stated, “Trying to understand God’s gift of grace with all our heart and mind gives us all the more reasons to love and obey our Heavenly Father with meekness and gratitude”. Let us grow ever more grateful for God’s gift of grace and turn to Him in a spirit of rejoicing. Then we too can exclaim, as did Nephi, “O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation” (2 Nephi 4:30).

Do you still feel burdened with guilt by something you have repented of? Try turning that guilt into gratitude for the Savior as you consider the role His atoning sacrifice plays in your life.

Please share your thoughts/experiences below!

 

Photo by William Krause on Unsplash