Coming to know my divine worth and identity has come through spiritually strengthening moments that are specific to me as well as through the consistent struggle of working to come closer to my Heavenly Father. I’ve done this (and not always consistently as I should!) through scripture study, meditation and prayer. It’s something you can’t know from any other source. People may tell you over and over that you are divine, but until you seek the divine to know who you are, you will never know it yourself.
Jacquie is the patient and energetic mother of four boys. She serves and lifts those around her daily through her friendship, loving kindness, and acceptance. The skills she uses as a health coach and fitness instructor allow her to serve women in unique ways. It was a privilege to interview and learn more from Jacquie. She shines with the light of Christ and helps those she interacts with feel of His love.
How have you come to know your divine worth and identity?
Coming to know my divine worth and identity has come through spiritually strengthening moments that are specific to me as well as through the consistent struggle of working to come closer to my Heavenly Father. I’ve done this (and not always consistently as I should!) through scripture study, meditation and prayer. It’s something you can’t know from any other source. People may tell you over and over that you are divine, but until you seek the divine to know who you are, you will never know it yourself.
What is some advice you’ve received from a mentor that has really impacted you?
This is a really hard question for me to answer because I feel like so many people have mentored me in my life in both big and little ways! I think of my mother, who, as a single mother, made sure she gave each of my siblings and I our own “night” where we could discuss with her anything on our minds. She taught from and we studied the scriptures pretty much every time we would have my night and I remember feeling both loved and empowered that I could find an answer to any question in the scriptures. There were many late nights on her part, between doing this with five kids, and I’m sure she also wanted a night to herself, but it’s something she did that I still cherish.
Another mentor that comes to mind is a church leader I had when my husband and I were engaged; he was guiding my soon-to-be husband and me through some family difficulties and he advised us to hold to each other. He mentioned to us that we were becoming one unit as Adam and Eve became one after leaving the Garden of Eden. That was a beautiful example to me of who I can become as my husband and I work toward being one, especially considering my stubborn nature. 🙂
What are some habits, routines, or systems you practice daily, weekly, etc. that help to center you?
Personally, I try to incorporate healthy habits daily, which include incorporating movement into my day (many times with formal exercise, but not always), eating well, and connecting with people. I strive to pray and read scriptures daily. I rotate what I study, but currently, I’ve been reading from the Book of Mormon (just reading it cover to cover). As a family we pray for meals and before bed; we also read scriptures (actually, we just play our scriptures or have it read to us) during breakfast. I love to dance around with my boys in our kitchen daily and music is a big part of our home and daily routine — if you stopped by our home, we may not hear your knock because my boys are always rocking out to some tune! I love to have them incorporate movement in their lives as well. We have other systems, but these are the systems and routines that I think have really shaped and centered our family.
What have you done to develop charity in your life?
This has definitely been a process. I have always loved other people and that is one of my gifts. There was a time when I just wanted to be done loving people because it hurt. But I realized it hurt when I was just thinking about myself, so I wasn’t really loving other people. I really studied Moroni 7:43-48 (see below) about charity as a teenager. I continue to read it.
“And acharity suffereth long, and is bkind, and cenvieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily dprovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.” (Moroni 7:45, Book of Mormon)
This can be a transformative scripture because it helps you to plant teachings in your heart about what charity truly is. Especially if you look at it prayerfully and ask, “What is it that I need to focus on right now?” or “Which aspect of charity will help me most right now in my current situation?” I feel like the Lord guides you to the teachings, people, or things that will help you to see what you need to learn and how to learn it.
What have you learned that helps you to not be critical of others?
I had some moments where I realized I was allowing the atonement to work for certain people and not for others. I had to recognize that I believed in the atonement, but it seemed so far off. I wasn’t allowing Christ’s atonement to heal in the present time. I realized others need to be healed using their own agency and timing. I realized that healing from the atonement is a process. By not allowing others to go through that process, it can be detrimental to ourselves. The atonement is so all encompassing of forgiveness, repentance, healing, and change. Realizing that allowed me to be okay in allowing others to have their own time table, choosing whether or not they would be healed and forgiven.
How do you love yourself?
This has been something I’ve been trying to figure out a lot more lately. It comes back to Christ’s atonement. I realized I wasn’t allowing Christ to help me love myself. I had a scarcity mentality. I realized I had so much more love for other people than I was providing for myself, I was much harder on myself.
As a result of my upbringing and personality, I gravitate toward looking inward and saying, “What can I do to change this about myself?” In reality, I can only change myself; I can only change the outside by changing the inside. There are times when I think choices I have made have influenced what has happened in good or bad ways. It’s so easy as a mother or a person who does that to think, “I must be a bad person because I’m creating bad.” When in reality, most of what we’re doing is not creating bad. I had to acknowledge that I was not allowing Christ to change those times that I may have been making something bad happen because I was so hyper focused on the bad instead of acknowledging the good and why something was so hard for me.
Recognizing why we have an initial thought or why we’re hard on ourselves is so empowering. For example, when my kids are being disagreeable or fighting doing chores and such, being able to say, “This is hard for me because really I love my kids and I want them to succeed” instead of saying, “I must be a bad mom because I can’t help my kids be better at ____.” It’s empowering to recognize the truth, that it’s a good desire to want my kids to succeed, so how can I use that desire to move in a positive light rather than having me feel worse about myself? If I actually love myself the way the Savior has asked me to love myself, how would I work through this if I were looking at it from the outside?
How have you striven to be kind to yourself and not judge yourself harshly?
I realized that in different periods of my life, there have been things (like long, in depth scripture studies), that were absolutely an essential part of my life. But that isn’t the phase that I’m in now. I had to acknowledge that and say, “okay, how can I make this work (because I know the Lord doesn’t want to leave mothers flat on their face!)?” He wants us to grow and become women and daughters of God who can teach their children about Him and His divine plan. It’s hard to do that if your cup is not full, or if it’s completely empty. Sometimes you have to run on a cup that isn’t quite full. So, recognizing the seasons in life helps. We can become transformed in these different seasons because we’re working in a different construct and we may have different things to learn. Acknowledging this is essential in how I view myself.
How do you create a feeling of love and acceptance in your home?
This is something I’m continually working on. I don’t feel like I always have a feeling of love and acceptance in my home even though I really want it! I think both of those are key to making it happen though – 1) continue working on it and spend time creating it, and 2) be patient and have a desire for that feeling to be present. I have been working to create a life and home that my family wants to return to time and time again, so I spend time thinking about it and implementing little changes that can help us be on the right track to get to that point. We’re not there yet, and thankfully, we don’t have to instantly be and stay there – we can course correct along the way.
We invite you to think of a woman in your life who exemplifies charity. What is something you can learn from her?
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