I have noticed having charity for others takes away a lot of the vices that we are sometimes naturally inclined towards having.
Chrissy Gavin currently lives in San Diego with her husband and four children. She served a mission for her church in Florida and studied Communications at the University of Utah. She enjoys painting, cooking, reading, and spending time with friends and family.
Do you remember a specific time or experience from your childhood that taught you about or helped you develop charity?
I wouldn’t say that there was one specific circumstance that taught me to be more charitable but over time a softening has occurred within me. I would say I was naturally more judgmental and self-righteous. I valued people on how “good” they were or weren’t. Over time the Lord has taught me how to see His children the way He sees them, and He has also humbled me and shown me my own weaknesses. It has allowed me to grow in charity and love. I do have three stories that show these changes in the way I view others.
I was reading the biography of a leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, President Spencer W. Kimball, and in it he tells of a time when he attended a church meeting where he had arrived early and saw that the members were laying sod in preparation for his visit that morning, on a Sunday, a day of worship and rest. Another leader of the church complained to President Kimball and he softly replied, “Next time, don’t go so early.” As I read that story, I realized I was more like the other leader and less like President Kimball and I knew I needed to change.
Another story comes from a discussion I had with a member of my church who me about her struggles. One specific thing she told us was that she had started smoking. She said her favorite place to smoke was outside the church building. She said she knew what she was doing was wrong but that she always felt peaceful when she would smoke outside the church and that is why she went there to smoke. I thought about her struggles, pain, and heartache she was feeling from circumstances in her life and about how the Lord was trying to reach her and help her feel His love for her. I thought about her story and the thoughts I would have had if I had seen her or someone else smoking right outside the church…they would not have been of Christ’s love for her. I realized that in a time when the Lord was reaching out to His daughter, I would have been throwing shade that direction. It helped me realize I needed to change the way I view others.
My last example is from my service as a missionary for my church. We were visiting a sister in our ward who lived in a very poor area, she was kind of a bit of a hoarder, and wasn’t what the world would put on a poster. She was telling us about her friends that she had brought to church with her and people that she met who she had shared the gospel with throughout her day on a regular basis. I had a very strong feeling come over me about how the Lord felt about her. She was doing everything that Heavenly Father was asking of her. I felt prompted to tell her how proud Heavenly Father was of her and her efforts to choose the right and share the gospel with everyone she knew. I felt the Spirit confirm to me that what I was telling her was true. The world may not have valued her but the Lord absolutely did! And He was pleased with who she was. These are just some of the experiences I have had that have helped me develop greater charity.
Why is charity an important part of your life?
Our purpose here on earth is to become like Christ. I want to be like Christ. But another motive is that I feel and have felt the love, understanding, patience, and forgiveness God has had for me. Because He has felt these things about me when I have sinned and had great weakness, it makes me want to be merciful to others as He has been merciful to me, to love others as He has loved me.
What have you learned about the Savior from having this characteristic in your life, or how have you come closer to Him?
I have noticed having charity for others takes away a lot of the vices that we are sometimes naturally inclined towards having. For example when we have Christ-like love, we don’t get jealous. We can have genuine joy for someone else’s success or gain and not feel a longing for it for ourselves. When we have Christ-like love we treat our families with greater patience and understanding. As we do that our relationships flourish and become a great source of happiness in our lives.
How do you practice charity when opposition arises?
Some talk I heard at some time taught me that God loves each of His children the same amount. He may be happier with one child’s choices over another but He loves each of us the same. That has stuck with me and whenever I start feeling negative things about someone I specifically remind myself “God loves _(them)_, just as much as He loves me.” Reminding myself that Heavenly Father loves us both the same amount, helps me have greater charity and love for that person. It helps me to feel the way Heavenly Father feels about them and it resets my feelings and lets me see them in a different way, in the right way.
Can you think of a specific time when it was hard to have charity?
My dear high school friend Meghan is currently staying with my family for a few days. We are very different. In fact, she has extremely opposite views from me and lives a very different life than I do. She actually has a lot of hurt feelings toward religion. Over the past ten years we have both had to practice and learn to have charity for one another. We have had to work to love one another for who we are, not who we want each other to be. She once told me that I was the most agreeable person she has ever disagreed with. : ) Because we both love one another, we can explain our views even when we know the other person does not believe what we believe. We are able to come to an understanding even though we don’t agree with each other.
How does practicing charity bring you joy?
I have been able to see myself change into a better person as I practice having charity for those who are around me. Seeing that change and growth within myself has brought me so much joy. Having a Christ-like attribute is always a good thing, but there is something powerful about gaining an attribute of Christ that we didn’t previously have or that we have struggled to improve. Growing and changing brings joy.
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