I believe that we can be more effective and purposeful as we learn to regulate and engage our senses in whatever worthwhile task we are trying to focus on. The Lord will help us “concentrate our power” so that we “get more out of [each] day.”
I’m sure we’ve all heard the words “motherhood” and “overwhelming” in the same sentence on many occasions. It’s hard to avoid feeling overwhelmed on a regular basis, at least for me! (If you have discovered ways to help with this feeling, please share in the comments below!) Another word that I think is even more specific to describing that familiar emotion is “overstimulating”. This term makes me think of having several different things or people needing my attention all at once without being able to attend to any of them because the demand on my senses is too much! It might have more to do with the fact that I also deal with anxiety and my senses are already overloaded, but recognizing sensory overload has become an asset to helping me cope with overstimulating situations in motherhood.
As a mother of three, I am regularly engaging many senses at once. I’ll be listening to one child tell me a story while another child is pulling on my hand and another is trying to show me something (sound, touch, and sight). I might be washing dishes while helping a child with homework (touch, sight/sound). All of us are required to use multiple senses at a time when driving, cooking, and so much more. I think it is a quality that women and mothers truly value – the ability to multitask! We’re always pushing ourselves to see how many things we can do at once (because there is always so much to get done!). Sometimes I think we let ourselves try to do more than our senses can truly handle. The more we try to do or take in at once, the less successful we become at each task.
I have had the privilege of working with many children with autism, which is my basis for understanding overstimulation. Children with autism experience heightened sensitivity to their environment as it interacts with their senses. Imagine being in a place where everything you can see, hear, smell, taste, and touch is magnified by 10, or even 100. In a busy restaurant, you can’t ignore the multiple conversations going on around you, and closing your eyes doesn’t dim brightness of the light above your table. Touching cold metal silverware causes severe physical pain rather than mild irritation. Most of us have experienced overload of one or more senses to some degree. But people with autism frequently experience many of these at once and at a more intense level. When children with autism are acting out, I believe that many times it is their way of trying to regulate all the input to their senses.
In my most recent experience working with preschool age children, I was lucky to work with extremely talented occupational therapists. I learned so much as I watched them work with these children to try and understand what type of sensory stimulation was contributing to their difficult behavior. They would then create different solutions to help them regulate their senses and be more functional in the classroom. For many kids, using noise-cancelling headphones while playing or singing was necessary. For some it was taking breaks or using a different type of chair. Some children needed a separate play space with fewer toys so that their sight was not overwhelmed with so many shapes and colors. As I watched these small changes make a big difference for these students, I realized that we all have the power to make small changes to improve the way we regulate our own senses. This also helps us regulate our emotions and increase our ability to function in our environment.
What I have reflected on from my work experience is that I might be overloading my senses by trying to do too much multitasking. Let me be clear that I don’t think multitasking is a bad thing. I think is a valuable and necessary skill in many situations. However, I also think we need to practice and develop the skill of focusing all of our energy and senses on one task at a time, when appropriate. Professor McKay Christensen calls this skill “centering.” He states, “Centering means you center your attention and effort on what is currently before you. It means you do that thing ‘with all your heart [your feeling and passion], might [your energy], mind [your focus and attention] and strength [your physical will].’ (D&C 4:2) If you are reading scriptures, give them all your heart and mind. If you are in class, give that all your mind and strength. Centering means to be wholehearted—totally invested and engaged” (Lay Hold upon the Word). He goes on to warn against distractions by saying that “one of the most significant obstacles . . . is our inability to fully immerse ourselves in . . . worthwhile things—our inability to fully focus on them.”
How can I increase my focus in this worthwhile thing called motherhood? Rather than going against our multitasking nature, I would suggest that we choose a few tasks or times of day when we deliberately focus on one thing with all our senses. It is up to each of us individually to decide which tasks should NOT be included in our multitasking repertoire. Again from McKay Christensen, “Perhaps some of you undervalue the power of centering. You think you can multitask your way through school and gospel life. But the truth is that you cannot multitask important things.” What are those important things to you? How would your scripture study improve if you tried to include multiple senses and more focus? How would a particular relationship improve if you set aside a small amount of time to engage fully with all your “heart, might, mind, and strength”? Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “As our world gets brighter, louder, and busier, we have a greater challenge feeling the Spirit in our lives. If your life is void of quiet time, would you begin tonight to seek for some?” (Be Still, and Know That I Am God).
I believe that we can be more effective and purposeful as we learn to regulate and and engage our senses in whatever worthwhile task we are trying to focus on. The Lord will help us “concentrate our power” so that we “get more out of [each] day.” (Lay Hold upon the Word).
I invite you to develop a habit of “centering.” Choose one task or one time of day when you can stop multitasking and devote all your focus to one worthwhile thing. Brother Christensen explains that “soon you will notice the power within you to give things your whole heart. It will become a habit.”
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