How do we develop a friendship with the Savior such that He becomes “a favored companion,” One we seek out to be a constant, irreplaceable part of our life? We can draw on the experience of building earthly friendships.
“Jesus is my best friend.” As someone said these words recently, I felt a pang of guilt. I’ve always loved Christ, but part of me feels as if I don’t know Him well enough to call Him “my best friend.” I’ve felt insecure for having a closer relationship to my Heavenly Father than to the Savior. Through speaking with Father in prayer each day over the course of a lifetime, I know I can turn to Him about anything. I can talk with Him about my fears, frustrations, and frailties and He will listen.
But as I thought about my connection to Christ, I found that I have come to know the Savior through the process of repentance – I have sought and found His forgiveness and cleansing power. I also know Christ through seeking solace – I have asked Him for and received succor in times of need, especially when no one else could understand my pain. I know Christ through receiving grace – I have petitioned Him for and been granted power beyond my own to face life’s challenges.
But in all these instances I am the patient needing the Physician – someone broken needing to be made whole. I long for the ability to also know Him as my Brother – a Friend I can walk with daily.
What is a “Friend”? A friend is a favored companion (Merriam-Webster), a person you know well and regard with affection and trust (Vocabulary.com). How do we develop a friendship with the Savior such that He becomes “a favored companion,” One we seek out to be a constant, irreplaceable part of our life? We can draw on the experience of building earthly friendships. A friend may fill many roles in our life – confidant, cheerleader, mentor, counselor, companion. But we allow them to play these roles because we love and trust them. Thus, we need to foster love and trust in our relationship with Christ.
How do we build love? “Love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time” (Uchtdorf, 2010).
We build relationships by spending time with another person! My best friends are people I’ve spent a lot of time with. We can do the same with Christ.
Invite Him to walk with you daily. At beginning of the day, ask Him to be present and mentor you. I often charge headlong into my days, not really stopping to consult with the Lord about what I need to do and how to do it. Then I find myself calling out for help when I get stuck. What if instead I was proactive and started my day by asking the Savior to guide and enable me? What if I let Him know that I am going to visit a friend and need help to understand their needs? Or that I have a doctor’s appointment and want to know what questions to ask?
Prayer is a crucial element part of inviting the Lord to be with us. Elder David A. Bednar stated:
“Meaningful morning prayer is an important element in the spiritual creation of each day—and precedes the temporal creation or the actual execution of the day…. There may be things in our character, in our behavior, or concerning our spiritual growth about which we need to counsel with Heavenly Father in morning prayer. After expressing appropriate thanks for blessings received, we plead for understanding, direction, and help to do the things we cannot do in our own strength alone…. During the course of the day, we keep a prayer in our heart for continued assistance and guidance—even as Alma suggested: ‘Let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord’ (Alma 37:36).”
We speak to our Father in prayer, but we receive answers and grace through Jesus Christ. Because of His Atonement, He knows the challenges of mortality and can lead and lift us as we strive to become like Him. “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (D&C 88:63). I have often found that the Lord provides quiet strength that is easily overlooked if I don’t take time to recognize His grace. We can practice looking for His answers to our prayers. Elder Bednar continued:
“We notice during this particular day that there are occasions where normally we would have a tendency to speak harshly, and we do not; or we might be inclined to anger, but we are not. We discern heavenly help and strength and humbly recognize answers to our prayer. Even in that moment of recognition, we offer a silent prayer of gratitude.
Prayer becomes meaningful as we remember our relationship to Deity and heed the admonition to… ‘Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good….’ (Alma 37:36–37; emphasis added).”
At the end of the day, we can take time to see how Christ enabled us and express gratitude for His help. “How did Christ empower me today?” We will begin to see how Christ fills our life with patience, hope, peace, love, and perspective – all blessings of a true friend.
Elder D. Todd Christofferson shared this about seeking Christ daily:
“By providing a daily sustenance, one day at a time, Jehovah was trying to teach faith to [the Israelite] nation that over a period of some 400 years had lost much of the faith of their fathers. He was teaching them to trust Him, to ‘look unto [Him] in every thought; doubt not, fear not’ (D&C 6:36). He was providing enough for one day at a time. Except for the sixth day, they could not store manna for use in any succeeding day or days. In essence, the children of Israel had to walk with Him today and trust that He would grant a sufficient amount of food for the next day on the next day, and so on. In that way He could never be too far from their minds and hearts.
The fact that I was forced to turn to God for help almost daily over an extended period of years taught me truly how to pray and get answers to prayer and taught me in a very practical way to have faith in God.… I learned that daily bread is a precious commodity. I learned that manna today can be as real as the physical manna of biblical history. I learned to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I learned to walk with Him day by day.”
Spend time with Christ by inviting Him to be a part of all aspects of your life.
How do we build trust? “In relationships that we choose in our personal lives, we also build trust through vulnerability” (Bonoir, 2018).
Be vulnerable – “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).
One of my closest friendships began when I had an awkward confrontation with a new roommate. I was uncomfortable with something that had taken place, and I had a choice to either assert my opinion of the situation or to express my concerns and admit my insecurities, in other words, to be vulnerable. My choice to be vulnerable led to a deep, heartfelt, and bonding conversation. I let this person see inside my heart and, in turn, she was brave enough to let me see inside hers. She is now an honorary member of my family, a trusted friend.
Sharing the things weighing on our minds and souls requires us to let down our walls of fear and shame. We may fear that our concerns will be belittled. We may be ashamed that we don’t have all the answers. For some reason it can be particularly difficult to bear our hearts to the One who gave them life. Perhaps we feel inadequate approaching this perfect Being with our very mortal anxieties.
Through writing this post, I realized that I am often afraid to be vulnerable with the Lord. I fear that if I share my burdens with Him, then I’ll be disappointed when they remain and I still have to shoulder them. But I’m learning that I need to adjust my expectations – we don’t unload all our cares on our friends and expect them to carry them for us while we go on our merry way. We share our troubles with friends to find comfort, understanding, and support.
I think I unwittingly expect the Lord to lift all the weight from my shoulders; and if He doesn’t, then, as a child might do, I bow my head in defeat and exclaim, “You’re not my friend!” But “we are not commanded to have faith in blessings but in the Giver of blessings. And the first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, not faith in a charmed life free from trouble (A of F 1:4, emphasis added)” (McLellan, 2018). Do I trust that Christ loves me? Do I believe that He has my best interest at heart? Do I trust that His response to my vulnerability will be what I need, not necessarily what I want? Do I have confidence in Him? If so, then I can trust Him enough to be vulnerable.
My confidence in Christ is fueled by the knowledge that Christ chose to experience mortality – all of it! “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people…. And he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:11-12).
Have you ever confided in a friend about a trial you have, only to discover they’ve had a similar experience? That instantaneous sense of relief and connection is amazing. You suddenly no longer feel alone and find the courage to keep trying. Similarly, “because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path….” (Holland, 2009). We can always find these blessings in Christ because He already went through all of our same challenges!
Have courage to be vulnerable by remembering Christ’s ability to understand and strengthen you.
The Perfect Friend
Jesus Christ is the perfect friend – we can trust and rely on Him 100% of the time. “The Lord has revealed Himself and His perfect character, possessing in their fulness all the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in Him without reservation” (Faith). What more can we ask for in a best friend?
Again, my relationships grow only if I make time for them. I find deeper connection when I invite them to my home, share the things weighing on my heart, and seek their advice and help. I’m learning that I can build my friendship with Christ in similar ways and am eager to develop my relationship of love and trust in Him.
Invite the Savior to become your Best Friend. “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me” (Revelation 3:20). You will find your life filled by His presence – His guiding light, perfect love, and unending grace.
“Our daily walk with Jesus Christ leads to peace and purpose in this life and profound joy and eternal salvation in the world to come” (Uchtdorf, 2013).
Enjoy walking with Him each day.
Invitation: Choose one way to develop your friendship with Christ and practice it this week. Record your experience.
Please share your thoughts or experience below!
Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash
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