The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
In a middle school literature class, I was asked to choose a favorite poem to recite to the class. The teacher did not ask us to expand upon the poem or try to determine its meaning, we were simply to recite it from memory in front of our classmates. Me, not being much of a poetry fan, scanned library books for an hour and randomly picked one that sounded nice – and easy to memorize. I chose this Robert Frost poem. Little did I know at that young age it would become somewhat of a theme for my life.
I have often wondered why the same things that work so well for other people, rarely seem to work for me. Let me give a parenting example. I have three children and I would not call a single one of them a good eater. I have read all the books, talked to so many Doctors, sought advice from other parents, tried the tactic used by my own parents – I’ve searched high and low for any method that would help me find exactly what would make my children eat more than a handful of questionably nutritious foods. The favorite suggestion is to tell my kids that they eat what’s put in front of them or they don’t eat at all. Want to know what happens when I attempt this? My middle child literally did not eat dinner for two weeks. She would rather go to bed hungry than eat something that she finds unappealing. I have tried this at different ages – always yielding the same result. It’s frustrating to say the least.
One day, however, it occurred to me that I had not consulted the one person who has all the answers. I immediately dropped to my knees and begged for help. The quiet thought, “don’t do it the same way as everyone else” entered my mind. Not really feeling that was an answer, I wasn’t sure what to do with that thought. Later, as I read my scriptures, I noticed some phrases in Mosiah chapters 1 and 2 that caught my eye.
“…prepared by the hand of the Lord that thereby they might be led, every one according to the heed and diligence which they gave unto him.”
“…every man according to his own family…every family being separate one from another.” (Mosiah 1:16 and 2:5)
This was my answer. My family, my children are HIS children. They were not entrusted to the Doctors, the nutrition specialists, my mom friends or even my parents. They were entrusted to me because He knew that I would diligently search for the best thing for them specifically. What everyone else does isn’t wrong – but it’s not the right road for my children. And so, I’ve set about creating methods that work for us – methods that don’t cause crying at the dinner table.
As I’ve pondered this experience, I have noticed that this idea that my Heavenly Parents have instilled so much trust in me that they expect me to travel paths that aren’t quite so well known. It took me 7 years to graduate college with a Bachelor’s degree – I attended 3 different institutions. My husband and I dated off and on for 6 years before getting engaged and then got married two months later. While I wanted to have children close in age, the Lord had a different plan and I have three children in three different schools for the rest of the time.
Most recently, when I want to be going back to pursuing a career or building a business, He showed me again that He wants me to choose a different road. Now I’m in the midst of planning a retreat for Christian women. Doesn’t seem all that different to you? It does to this shy girl from the Midwest who never considered herself a host/party planner, who is not detail-oriented, who straddles friend groups, who moves around the country frequently, who can’t make up her mind what she wants to be when she grows up. In my mind, I am the least likely candidate to be putting together something of this magnitude. And yet every single detail of it has come together as I have been diligent about taking the small next steps on an unfamiliar road.
Even in those details, however, God has shown me that He doesn’t want me doing it the same as everyone else. Through quiet promptings, He encouraged me to take a break from social media to limit the influence of other voices on this event. As King Benjamin told his people in his final address, the Lord whispered to me, “…I have things to tell you…” (Mosiah 3:1). I have come to learn that when He repeats things to me, I need to listen. I’m not sure of the final outcome yet, but what I am sure of is that He speaks to me when I seek His voice instead of other sources.
We are all asked to walk our own path in this life. Sometimes, our paths look eerily similar to those around us on the surface. But, somewhere along the path, there’s a tree in our way that we have to maneuver around. Some individuals are tall enough to step over it, some are small enough to scurry under, others have to walk way off the path to go around the tree and others are left to figure out another way. Regardless of the method, you use to continue on the path, the way you approach it will look different from anyone else.
The key to figuring out which road to choose is learning how God speaks to you.
“And many signs, and wonders, and types, and shadows showed he unto them, concerning his coming…” (Mosiah 3:15)
Sometimes He shows us signs and wonders with bright flashing lights. We cling to those times and often wish that’s how guidance always came. But, more often, He shows us fleeting shadows in the busy moments of our day when, if we aren’t paying attention, we will completely miss it.
Every single one of God’s children has a unique path to walk in this life. While some may look similar, I promise that there are side paths. I challenge you to (1) spend some time writing down all the ways you’ve noticed God prompting you throughout your life. When you recognize all the ways He helps guide you, you wake up a little and are more likely to recognize the shadows in each day. And (2) throw away the idea that you have to do anything exactly the same as someone else who’s been successful with those methods. You will find your purpose and learn to recognize your own gifts when you choose the road less traveled.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
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