“If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:61).
Have you ever had a moment where you suddenly realize, “Oh no! I thought everyone else was the problem, but it’s really me! I’m the problem!” I have. Moments of truth like that can be devastating. Crushing. How could I have been so wrong for so long?
In reality though, those moments are a gift. To suddenly have your eyes opened to your own flaws, especially the ones you have been framing as virtues, can be incredibly painful, but it also gives you a priceless opportunity. The opportunity to change.
2 Nephi 15:13 says, “Therefore, my people are gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge.”
I had known for many years that something was not quite right about the way I operated in certain relationships, but I couldn’t figure out exactly what I was doing wrong or why it was wrong. My lack of knowledge kept me trapped in my dysfunction. I could not progress without being able to see the truth of my actions and why they were harmful.
Mosiah 7:29 reads, “For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them.”
This scripture can sound a little harsh, but I think this is one of the ways that the Lord tries to clue us in to our lack of knowledge. When we think we’re doing good things but they just aren’t benefiting us, it can be an indicator that we have more to learn. Perhaps we don’t quite understand the true principle we’re trying to live.
In my situation, I thought I was loving and serving people. Yet somehow mixed in with all the love I felt, there was also a lot debilitating neediness and insecurity, but I didn’t know why. So I just kept forging ahead with my own version of love and service. Then one day I read a book and had a conversation with a friend that helped me clearly see where I was mistaken and how big of a stumbling block that was in my life. And this new knowledge suddenly made change a possibility for me.
In Doctrine and Covenants 42:61 the Lord promises, “If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.”
My flawed version of love and service was causing me a lot of suffering. So I loved the Lord’s promise in this scripture that the revelation and knowledge I would receive from Him would show me the path to peace and joy—the two things I wanted most and could not figure out how to attain on my own.
Another promise from the Lord in Mosiah 7:33 also spoke to me. It is only a few verses after the Lord says He will not succor us in the day of our transgression: “But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.”
This was the path to being delivered from my bondage– put my trust in the Lord and serve him with all my heart and mind. Up to that point in my life I had really put my trust in other people and served them with all my heart and mind, instead of the Lord, hoping they would save me. I began to realize that other people did not have the power to save me. Trying to get those around me to do the Savior’s work led to mutual frustration because it was both an impossibility and a burden too heavy for them to bear. I had to let go of my stranglehold on others and trust the Savior to catch me.
I begged the Lord to teach me– to teach me how to find the joy and peace I could not find on my own, despite all my best efforts. What followed was a three-year-long tutelage. As I cried to Him daily on my knees and fervently searched the scriptures for His wisdom, He taught me one small truth at a time. Each new truth I learned came with a feeling of peace. Then I would hit the next gap in my knowledge and more tears, prayers, and study would lead me to the next kernel of truth that brought peace. And step by step my heart was changed until ultimately I truly became a “new creature” in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
In D&C 93:24 we read, “Truth is knowledge of things as they are, as they were, and as they are to come.”
And in D&C 93:36: “The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.”
Then in verse 28 of the same section: “He that keepeth his commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.”
A huge part of becoming more holy and partaking of God’s glory is increasing the light and truth in our lives and changing to live according to that light and truth. And I have found that this truly is the path that leads to peace and joy.
The most remarkable thing is that for me to find peace and joy, nothing had to change in the actual circumstances of my life. My life stayed exactly the same. What changed was me. My perception of the world. My ability to see my circumstances in a more truthful way. It was the truths the Lord taught me in my circumstances and my ability to then act according to those truths that brought the peace and joy I was seeking.
This is why the Lord calls prophets and sends out missionaries. He knows that knowledge of truth is the most powerful tool He can give us to change our lives, help us become more like Him, and partake of His joy. His servants teach us truths and then invite us to live our lives according to those truths. When we are baptized God gives us the gift of the Holy Ghost, who “speaketh the truth and lieth not” (Jacob 4:13). And He warns us against Satan, “that wicked one [who] cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers” (D&C 93:39).
The next time you are made aware of a mistake you have made or an area where you are weak, I invite you to replace your feelings of distress and discouragement with joy. Find joy in your opportunity to use the Atonement of Jesus Christ to learn and change and realize your divine potential. I know you will be blessed with greater peace and joy, regardless of your life circumstances, as you continue to seek knowledge from the Lord and apply that knowledge in your life.
What life circumstance is causing you the most distress right now? What further light and knowledge could you seek from the Lord to find greater peace and comfort in this circumstance? I invite you to ponder these questions and seek revelation from the Lord to help you in your personal situation. I testify that He “will not leave you comfortless” (John 14:18).
Photo by Carolyn V. on Unsplash
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