Do you remember a time when you were lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, and suddenly you heard a startling noise? The unfamiliar sound caused instant anxiety…. When the noise repeated, you had a choice: cautiously turn towards the sound, or remain hidden and pray that you would be safe…. In life, we may likewise find ourselves suddenly faced with fear and anxiety. But like the analogy above, we have a choice. We can choose to evade the fears and hope they go away, or we can face them and see them for what they truly are.
Do you remember a time when you were lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, and suddenly you heard a startling noise? The unfamiliar sound caused instant anxiety and your instincts told you to pull the covers over your head to blot out the sound. When the noise repeated itself, you had a choice: cautiously poke your head out and turn towards the sound, or remain in your cocoon and pray that you would be safe. I don’t know about you, but try as I might, asleep was unlikely to come until I faced my fears by identifying and disabling the source of that sound.
In life, we may likewise find ourselves suddenly faced with fear and anxiety, from no immediately recognizable source. These “triggers” might come from a thought, smell, face, song, or voice. And the natural, human response to these fears is to escape. This reaction is built into us as an important defensive mechanism.
David A. Bednar said, “You undoubtedly have experienced [great] feelings of dread after learning about a personal health challenge, discovering a family member in difficulty or danger, or observing disturbing world events. In such instances, the distressing emotion of fear arises because of impending danger, uncertainty, or pain….
“Upon hearing the voice of God after partaking of the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve hid themselves in the Garden of Eden. God called unto Adam and asked, ‘Where art thou? And [Adam answered], I heard thy voice…, and I was afraid.’ (Genesis 3:9–10). Notably, one of the first effects of the Fall was for Adam and Eve to experience fear. This potent emotion is an important element of our mortal existence” (Bednar, 2015).
I’ve found it extremely helpful to understand that fear is a natural and normal emotion. Interestingly, while this is an essential response, our brains react similarly to the threat of a charging bear and the terror of a disturbing memory – RUN! As a result, we often learn to escape from frightening emotions or thoughts. But like the analogy above, we have a choice. We can choose to evade the fears or their “triggers” and hope they go away, or we can turn towards them and see them for what they truly are.
My therapist taught me that these triggers are information. They tell us that it is worth investigating the experiences or feelings that are rising to the surface. If we practice confronting these intimidating emotions, we begin to see that they are not as scary as we initially thought. We can also learn more about ourselves – that we are powerful daughters of God with the strength to choose to be bigger than our fears.
At first this process may seem too daunting. When I began this practice, I found myself thinking, “What if I open this box and the contents really are as scary as I think they are? What if they overwhelm me, and I break?” But, like facing the sound in the dark, it was easier to do when I wasn’t alone. I’d call out, “Hey sis, did you hear that?” And I felt stronger just knowing that my sister was awake and there to back me up if needed. For me, finding a therapist that I trusted was what provided the safe, supportive environment I needed to practice facing my current fears. I knew that if I started to feel like I was drowning or lost, there was someone there to guide me through the process. For you, it may be turning to a close family member or friend and asking them to sit with you as you confront your fears. Whether or not you have a trusted professional or loved one to help, you ultimately don’t have to face anything alone because there is One person that will always listen to and support you.
When I was startled in the night, what I wanted more than anything was to turn on a light. If I could illuminate the room, I knew I’d be able to clearly see the source of the distressing noise and then know how to disable it. Thankfully, we have the Light of the World, and He has the capacity to sustain, guide, and empower you in turning towards your anxieties. He faced every fear known to women and men and came off conqueror (D&C 10:5). Who better to lean on than Him as you shed light on the things hiding in the shadows of your life?
The scriptures tell of a group of people who were about to be attacked by an army, so they were naturally and understandably afraid. One of their leaders encouraged them to “remember the Lord their God and he would deliver them…. Therefore they hushed their fears” (Mosiah 23:27–28). Of this experience, David A. Bednar said, “Correct knowledge of and faith in the Lord empower us to hush our fears because Jesus Christ is the only source of enduring peace. He declared, ‘Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me’ (D&C 19:23)” (Bednar, 2015).
Why is learning to face our fears valuable? For me, not knowing what caused the unnerving sound was debilitating. I was paralyzed by anxiety and unable to sleep. As soon as I got close to drifting off, the noise would startle me awake again. After a night of tossing and turning, I would be jumpy, irritable, and less productive the next day. But, if I turned on the light and identified the disturbing source, I could see that there was a natural explanation for the sound. I could then take care of it so it didn’t continue to agitate me. I could rest well and take on the next day rejuvenated. If I ever heard the sound again, it might temporarily startle me, but I could quickly recognize it, disable it, and sleep peacefully.
As I realized that anxiety was overwhelming aspects of my life, I saw that my progression was hindered because I didn’t understand what was fueling this powerful emotion. I was afraid to choose, to move forward because of the potential pain I might encounter. Instead, I often stood still and just reacted to what life threw at me. But as I’ve practiced shedding light on my anxieties, I’ve found that there are natural, important explanations for why I’m experiencing the fear. As I discover and understand these reasons, I’m able to work through the fear and anxiety instead of continually fleeing when it appears. Then, if something triggers these emotions again, I can more quickly identify and deactivate the source, thus allowing me to move forward in confidence. This process of recognizing and working through my fears has helped me rediscover that life holds the potential for joy, not just pain. I’m learning to co-create my life with God and find peace in this process.
The scriptures illustrate the restrictive nature of fear versus the empowering nature of faith. Sariah was devastated by the belief that her sons had perished in the wilderness and her anxiety led her to blame and criticize her husband (1 Nephi 5:2-3). She later learned that her fears were not realized and her sons had been protected and preserved by God (1 Nephi 5:8). In contrast, Esther, when faced with the fear of approaching the king on behalf of her people, petitioned the Jews to join her in fasting for their cause (Esther 4:16). With hope and confidence, she courageously chose to approach the king, thereby saving her own life and the Jewish nation (Esther 4-7). Sariah’s progress was stunted until she knew that she did not need to worry. Esther developed her strength and capacity to move forward in faith in spite of her fears.
This process of learning to turn towards our fears can lead to greater freedom, increased peace, and a deeper sense of empowerment. If you choose, you can develop a more gentle and understanding relationship with yourself. You can discover more compassion for others. And you can come to know and feel the love of the Lord in a unique way – He will show you His deep compassion for your very real struggles. He has incredible confidence in you and will help you discover your inherent power as His child. These are only a few of the ways I have been blessed by learning to confront my fears.
We each have experiences that shake us and leave their mark on our hearts and minds. It is normal for us to feel fear and anxiety when something triggers these memories. It is also possible for us to remember that we are powerful daughters of God who can call upon our inner strength, the support of others, and the Light of the World to face the things that frighten us. In this process, we will learn to hush our fears and find the peace of Christ that “passeth all understanding” (Phillipians 4:7).
Invitation: Find a supportive place to face one of your fears. Reach out to a friend, family member, or professional. Invite the Lord to be part of the process and trust that He will give you the power and peace you seek. With practice, you can learn face your fears without fear.
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