Why We Share

Sharing is hard and really uncomfortable, but it also enriches my life in a way I never thought possible.

 

“I just don’t understand why you would want everyone to know that much about you.”

An innocent enough statement by someone close to me; it has made me think long and hard about my reason for telling others about some of the hardest, most private experiences of my life.

You wouldn’t know it by observing me now, but in years past, I was a super private person. I never shared any details of my life with other people. Some of my reasoning was because I had been hurt a few times by gossip. It also felt really uncomfortable to talk about life experiences that I wasn’t sure how to process myself. There is also a fine line between knowing what should be kept private and what could possibly help others not feel alone.

In my early to mid-30s, I experienced some of the toughest trials you can experience in life: job loss, infertility and multiple miscarriages, unexpected pregnancy, solo parenting, marriage struggles, disordered eating, depression and anxiety, mental health issues with my children, frequent moves away from friends and family, spiritual struggles– all of these within just a few years. For a long time, I didn’t want to talk about any of these experiences with anyone. It was hard, it was overwhelming. I felt scared, lonely and embarrassed.

That all changed with one friend. One friend who was willing to open up about her own walk through infertility and miscarriages. Having someone to sit with through the grief, someone who understood how I was feeling, made all the difference. She helped me to realize that I was not alone. Sharing the discomfort and the heartbreaking experiences helped us to become closer.

It took a few more years before I was ready to start speaking more boldly about what was happening in my life. But, eventually, I began to understand that we are not meant to walk this life alone. A wise Heavenly Father made not just man or woman; He made man and woman–individuals to work together. He knew that we would need each other to help us through our mortal journey.

I love Matthew 18:20, which reads, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

We walk this life with other people because Heavenly Father didn’t want us to do life by ourselves. Being with others teaches us how to become more like Him. We learn some of our most important values by interacting with other people. When we gather together through shared experiences or to simply sit with someone else in their pain, we allow space for the Savior to enter in and bring healing and peace. This is how He lived. He met people where they were – the woman at the well, Zacchaeus up a tree, the Apostles on a fishing boat. He listened to them, He counseled with them, He gently told them to sin no more, He calmed the storm. He does this for each of us, and expects us to follow His example and do the same.

The unexpected blessing that comes, as we sit with one another and share our experiences, is that we feel fulfilled and often find joy. My deepest, most meaningful relationships have come because of conversations involving sharing of experiences which have helped me become who I am today. Sharing is hard and really uncomfortable, but it also enriches my life in a way I never thought possible. Even more importantly, however, is how it helps to unify us with other people who are walking a similar path. We can make each other’s burdens feel lighter by carrying them together.

We become like the Savior as we act like the Savior. He shared and He gathered, so that’s what I will continue to do.

 

Invitation: As you think about those within your sphere of influence, consider what experiences you could share with them that would strengthen your relationship. When we love others as He does, not only will they feel loved by us, they will feel His love more abundantly.

 

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Photo from Unsplash, by Clarisse Meyer